Villvindel Hypnotherapy

In a recent session the general theme that came up was about women and women’s relationships with other women.

The observation is that when a woman sets herself free, for instance at a party, and enjoys herself, laughs loudly, dances and dives deep into her fire and joy – other women in many instances draw away.

So we had a look at the deeper and ancient patterns that emerged between women.

What we saw, was that women seem to feel that they are competing with each other. Competing for men. Competing for wealth. Competing for the resources that will ensure the survival of children.

But why do we compete?

The survival story of humanity, especially focused on the lineage that had to fight for survival because of seasons, for instance, is a possible part of the root cause. A clan or tribe that is not prepared for winter will suffer. Either you can go to war and fight for the resources, or you build a society that prepares for the winter by storing resources. And then defend those resources against marauding tribes trying to steal the resources, and of course from vermin and so on.

In a biological perspective, our bodies want to reproduce and provide the largest possible survival rate for the offspring, and in this context, resources will be key to that survival. So «bling» becomes symbol of the probability of survival. The more stuff, resources and «bling» a person has, the more likely the survival.

But if we travel back even further, when our ancestors lived in the lush paradise of our source in Africa, survival was easy. Food grew abundantly on trees, in/on the ground, in the waters. Food was everywhere. A likely scenario is that people in that era would cooperate in a different manner. When there was no competition for resources, status would possibly come from personality and talents, rather than how much the individual could hoard. -This was an image we looked at, anyways. A Garden of Eden kind of feeling.

(Again, this is based on the energy reading, not science.) It seems that something happened when humans migrated north, and encountered harsher conditions, with winter and a more urgent need for survival. And a different way of cooperating. A cooperation that was more urgent and desperate. And the joint effort for survival seems to have been hijacked by people who experienced unhealed trauma, fear and a need to control. And from there we entered into that competition mode and fight for «bling».

One consequence in the present is the collective destruction of our planet in our mindless quest for more «bling». Our collective survival mode has by now become such a large-scale monster that it threatens to send us all into extinction. Oh, the irony.

On a personal (possibly deeply unconscious) level, the lack of «bling» can make us feel that we are not enough, less than, unworthy. We have been programmed to strive for resources to ensure our personal survival also at the individual level. – If she gets the man with the most «bling», my offspring have a lower chance of survival, type of perception.

But competition between women is of course not only about this. We went deeper into the energy reading to look at the emotions that are displayed.

We all long for happiness. We all long for that Garden of Eden feeling, where women collaborate and lift each other up and where each of us feels loved and connected with a sense of belonging and companionship.

When you see a woman, whose eyes are shining, her laughter is loud and free, her hips are eagerly dancing, feet flying – how does that make you feel? Observation is that many western women draw away from her. Why is that? Emotions may include jealousy and envy. A feeling of lack. Insecurity. A feeling of not being good enough, that the happy woman has won the competition. A feeling of being left out, left behind, I lost the game. (There is also a religious factor here, but we’ll discuss that another time.)

For the dynamic between women, this can become very complicated. Because the happy woman may perceive that her sisters become unhappy in her presence. Many women who experience this may turn to talking themselves down in order to make the others comfortable. The vibrant happiness leaves the room. Or the woman decides to ignore the signals from the other women and continue to shine her light. She risks being gossiped about, judged, mocked, ridiculed, laughed at, ostracized. (So many women are stuck in «what will the others say?»)

Our little talk in the session was that we thought the more optimal solution would be that the other women joined in the happiness. That we erase the inherited misery that is dragging each other down. Or that the client in question needs new friends, ladies who are comfortable in their own skin.

But how can we assist our sisters into feeling good in their own skin? Each woman has inherited trauma of survival. Previous generations’ encounters with poverty, disease, starvation, death, social retribution, being outcast, all the stigma of breaking the unwritten rules, maybe even torture. Or if your family came from the high and mighty – the fear of the uprising of the masses, the strict etiquette, honour and chivalry, the heavy burden of responsibility, and perhaps being married off to a stranger in order to seal a deal between the parents (lack of autonomy). The need to be in control, the need to be in charge, the urge for power and the blind intoxication that power gives. All these energies are passed down, in epigenetics and as to how families raise their children. As we grow up, our adults and siblings take these things for granted, so we take them for granted too. I call these «programmings». (I have hypnotherapy tools for working these out of your system, if you are interested.)

Each woman, in order to become that vibrant shining person will have to face her programmings. She will have to look at what programmings govern her life and the life of her ancestors and how these have affected her and her life and behaviour. She will need to find that spot within herself where she can see that the other women can be her team. Her team of sisters. That the talents and beauty of the others do not diminish or take away anything from hers. That the beauty of another woman is not a threat to her own innate beauty.

She will learn to love herself in compassion as well as see the strengths and talents of the other women and admire them. She will learn to give a heartfelt compliment, knowing that the words of admiration actually add to her own light. She will learn how to cultivate a team of sisters.

Gather up the most shining women you can find and create your personal Tribe of Eden.